We believe in the power of commitment. There is something sacred about going “all in” with another. You declare ahead of time that whatever pain or discomfort comes up for you in your relationship — and it will — you will face and heal within the relationship, rather than running from it. When we jump from one relationship to the next, we take the same “hot button” issues with us to the next person, and then are surprised when the same problems keep happening.
Flora just performed her first “covenant marriage,” in which the marrying couple agrees to obtain pre-marital counseling and accept more limited grounds for divorce. Why would people voluntarily limit the ways they could legally terminate their marriage? To consciously deepen their commitment, which increases their opportunities for healing and growth. 
In the ceremony, these lovely words preceded the vows:
“Because you will be safe in marriage, you can risk: because you have been promised a future, you can take extraordinary chances. Because you know you are loved, you can step beyond your fears; because you have been chosen, you can transcend your insecurities. You can make mistakes, knowing the other will be there to catch you. And because mistakes and risks are the very essence of change, of expansion, in marriage you will expand to your fullest capacity.”
And the power of commitment is of course not limited to our human relationships.
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Our assistant, Karen, and her husband Raymond, recently adopted a one year-old rescued dog they named Jake. Jake is a high-energy puppy that had been found wandering, underfed, un-neutered, and completely untrained. They reported it was like having a highly caffeinated toddler in the house. Even though they trained and worked with him daily, Karen was often driven to tears of frustration by Jake’s destructive, disruptive and disobedient behavior. They began to question if they would be able to rehabilitate this dog, and considered giving him back to the shelter. But they knew if they couldn’t work it out with Jake, it was unlikely that another person would be willing to try. After much talk, they committed to Jake, as solemnly as they had committed to each other. “Divorcing” Jake was no longer an option. Once they committed, the question shifted from, “Canwe do this?” to, “How will we do this?” And bit by bit, over the months they figured it out. Although still a naturally high-energy dog, Jake is happy, appropriately playful, and yes, (mostly) obedient. Karen and Raymond can’t imagine life without him.
We invite you to take a moment now and look into your own life. Where would the power of committing — of going “all in” and not giving yourself any back door escape — give you the power to move forward where you’ve been indecisive and splitting your focus and creative energy? Commitment makes life both easier and harder. Easier, because your path becomes clear; you do what needs to be done to honor the commitment. And harder, because you may be scared or have other uncomfortable emotions or maybe not even know how just yet. But that’s where the richness and fullness of life happens.
“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness . . . Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.” — William Hutchison Murray
We would change that last line to, “Commit to it now.” And so be it.
